


And a Robin in a Pear Tree...

by loup_garou



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Batman - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:42:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loup_garou/pseuds/loup_garou
Summary: Somehow, meeting up with the bats never ends well for Oliver. His team, however, is delighted.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 90





	And a Robin in a Pear Tree...

Oliver really felt that things had been working well with the bats: he didn’t go to Gotham, they didn’t come to Star City. Until they did. And now he’s seriously contemplating if it’s possible to be a vigilante without ever leaving your nice underground, very bat-free vigilante lair. That is, until that, too, becomes suddenly less than bat-free.

They have no warning at all: the first indication that their safe Arrow cave has been breached is the door opening. Oliver turns to look at it, catches a confused series of visual impressions – a flash of red, Rene going for the door and defying gravity – and then gets hit in the chest hard enough to land on the floor with something warm and elbow-y on top of him. He lifts his head and notes that yup, that is Rene. The defying gravity thing was possibly not entirely voluntary on his part.

In the door opening Red Hood is standing, looking completely relaxed and as if he didn’t just throw a normal-sized vigilante across the room. “Hi there, Arrow and friends!” he says cheerily. Oliver suspects fighting people makes him happy. “We needed a bit of assistance.”

Everyone else in the room is staring at the visitor, including Rene who hasn’t even bothered to roll off Oliver. Red Hood takes a step to the side, and behind him is another vigilante, wearing red and looking like there’s not enough face-palm in the world for this situation. “Hi,” he says. “I’m Red Robin. I gather you’ve met my brother before.” Oliver tips Rene off his chest with slightly more force than necessary, gets up as gracefully as he can, and opens his mouth only to be anticipated by Felicity. “How did you do that?” she says. “How did you get all the way in here without me noticing?” 

Red Robin looks a bit abashed. “Well, I’m good with computer systems,” he says, “and Oracle is even better.” Felicity glares at him and he is clearly trying to look smaller. “Sorry?” he ventures. Felicity draws a deep breath. “Show me what you did,” she commands, and Red Robin meekly trots over to her. The conversation takes about ten seconds to move beyond the technical level Oliver can comprehend. Meanwhile, Red Hood is looking around with curiosity even the helmet can’t hide. “Sweet set-up,” he comments. “Anyone feel like sparring while the geeks are getting their geekery on?” 

Oliver decides it is time to attempt to take control of the situation. He strongly suspects he’ll fail, but it’s the principle of the thing. “You needed some assistance?” he says. Red Robin breaks off mid-geek and turns to him. “Yes,” he says a little sheepishly. “Sorry, got a bit carried away.” Felicity looks like she would not object to carrying him away for an uninterrupted session of computer conversations. “We need access to the local League of Assassins centre – they keep most of their archives on paper, so remote access doesn’t help us. We thought you might be able to give us some details before we break in.” Oliver wonders if you can get a concussion from fellow vigilante to the chest. Did he hit his head going down? “You’re planning a burglary on the League of Assassins? Are you completely insane?” And what is this about there being assassins in his hometown? Red Robin looks even more sheepish. “Yes, well, we maybe should have mentioned the local centre to you. But in any case, yes, we’re planning a burglary. We’re just a little unsure of our standing with them now that Ra’s is dead, and we’d like to have a bit more information.” 

Felicity looks up from her screen. “Where is it?” Red Robin looks more cheerful and gives her an address in one of the swankier districts. The League would probably not be seen dead in the Glades. “The blueprints are in the library,” Felicity notes. “It’s closed.” The bats smile smugly. “No problem,” Red Hood says, “but better wait until later, when the streets are emptier. So, how about sparring? Might as well pass the time usefully.”

Oliver is not doing this. Really not. He is, however, throwing his team under the bus. Considering Rene has already had his lost fight of the day, he nods at Curtis, who wears a look of ‘who, what, me?’ but obediently (and reluctantly) steps up. To Oliver’s surprise, the one joining him on the training mats is not Red Hood but Red Robin. He looks about half the size of Curtis and for the first time, Oliver wonder how old all the bats are. This one could be twelve years old, for all he knows. Still, he grins cheerfully up at Curtis and expands his bo staff to its full length.

Oliver would like to look away. He would also like to feel a little guilty about dropping this fight on Curtis, just to prove he is, in fact, a good person, but he doesn’t. After all, Curtis is a trained fighter and athlete, and this is not the Bat himself he’s fighting.

It does not go well for Curtis. Red Robin is faster, more limber, and even if not stronger still knows how to land a punch. It only takes a few moments for Curtis to stop trying to go easy on him and instead get desperate to hold his own. Even worse, it looks like Red Robin in actually going easy on him until he drops him to the floor for the fourth time and Curtis just doesn’t get up. “I’m done,” he groans. “So unspeakably done. If I’m going to patrol tonight I need to stop now and go ice my bruises.” Red Robin, who has been unfailingly cheerful throughout despite sweating freely offers him a hand up. “I could use some ice, too,” he says. “You have a nice left maegeri.”

They wander off to the ice machine companionably, and this is where Red Hood steps onto the mats. He has taken off his helmet, and the grin on his face does not bode well for anyone in the vicinity. “So, ready for a bit of work out, Arrow?” he says happily. 

His team is looking at him trustingly, and he tries to share their faith. This is not Batman himself – not that the team knows how that went – and Red Hood is not going to use his guns on the mats. He hopes. It should be fine. He looks pointedly at the guns, and Hood politely unclasps his belt and hands it to Red Robin, who has returned to watch. With Curtis. Oliver really needs to win this. 

Red Hood stretches a bit, still wearing the grin, and then rises onto the balls of his feet. The look in his eyes is fully feral and Oliver is beginning to feel uneasy. He tells himself sternly that this is not Batman, but his less experienced sidekick? protege? whatever, and starts gently circling to the left. Red Hood follows him, clearly content to let him set the pace.

It is, rather to Oliver’s surprise, a good workout. They are very closely matched – Red Hood is undoubtedly a very skilled fighter but he doesn’t quite have Batman’s edge, and at least in a friendly sparring session Oliver has no trouble holding his own. Just goes to show, he thinks to himself, that relying on guns is not good for your hand-to-hand. They are both sweating and bruised but smiling, enjoying the challenge and the test of skills. At one point, Red Hood gets him in a lock, proving that his grip is nigh unbreakable, but Oliver remembers a particular counter Talia once taught him, and feels a moment of anticipation at the look on Hood’s face when he discovers it. As he begins to turn into it, Red Hood tips his face close to Oliver’s. “This is for Arsenal,” he breathes into Oliver’s ear. He steps with the turn, shifts his weight, and dislocates Oliver’s shoulder.

Oliver is not entirely sure what happens immediately afterwards, because he’s on the floor trying not to scream. Red Hood is stepping away, a look of shock and dismay on his face. “I’m sorry!” he says. “Is it dislocated?” Red Robin runs past him to kneel next to Oliver and help him up. “Hood, help him sit up!” he says, and Hood gets down behind Oliver to provide support. Red Robin feels the shoulder and massages it gently, trying to get the muscles to relax. Oliver breathes with Hood and tries to ignore the pain. Under Red Robin’s hands, the shoulder joint slides gently back in place, and Oliver breathes a sigh of relief. 

His team is looking at Red Robin like he hung the moon. “That’s awesome!” Curtis says. “Can you teach me to do that?” Even Felicity has time to throw Red Robin a smile as she puts a sling on Oliver and helps him to his feet. Red Hood rises with him, wearing a look of embarrassment. “I’m so, so sorry,” he says. “I wasn’t expecting you to turn in that way. I’m really sorry.” Oliver is rather astounded at the flawless acting – had it not been for the whisper in his ear, he would have believed it genuine. Red Robin, who is by now surrounded by most of his team as he explains what he did with Oliver’s shoulder – with them hanging on his every word, damn it – looks up. “Should we perhaps get on to our scheduled library-and-then-League break-in?” Red Hood puts his gun belt back on and smiles at them all, still a little apologetically. “It was really nice meeting all of you. If you’re ever in Gotham, let us know. Maybe even a team-up? I promise not to hurt anyone but the bad guys.” He looks at Felicity under his lashes, and Felicity pats his arm comfortingly. 

Oliver watches as the two Gothamites, waved at by their new best friends formerly known as his team, pick up their things and leave. The team turns to him. “They are really cool!” says Curtis. “Do you think Red Robin would teach me to use a bo?” Felicity tuts over his arm, making sure the sling is comfortable. “I wonder who Oracle is? I’d love to meet someone who can walk through my security.” Even René, whose only interaction has been to be thrown clear across the room, is mumbling something about Red Hood’s guns and wanting a closer look.

He used to have a team. He now has a bat fan club. How did this even happen to him?


End file.
